Happy Birthday Amber, oh, and Holiday Wishes and Cyber Monday

Happy Birthday Amber, oh, and Holiday Wishes and Cyber Monday

It’s Amber’s birthday, the resident Sagittarius. Happy birthday Amber!

This tribute to Amber started with Kelly telling us that those born under the Sagittarius sign are natural wanderers. Kelly says this doesn’t apply to Amber. She never wanders. But Amber herself disagrees. “I am a wanderer,” she says, “But a responsible wanderer.”

I quickly realized how wandering this blog was going to get.

But we forged ahead, in honor of our birthday girl.

The girls read that the Sagittarius is the most peaceful and loving of all the fire signs. This brought them to a round of “This girl is on fire,” but then they got back to business. They read on that Amber is supposed to be generous and idealistic, with a great sense of humor: An enthusiastic extrovert, constantly in touch with the world and possessing an intense curiosity.

Amber was sold. She does have a wandering soul, she says.

“I look at what makes sense at the moment,” she says. “And I’m okay if that changes.”

And if someone told her to jump off a cliff, she would. In fact, she did, she says.

She never got to that story, because this wandering girl veered the subject to one of her latest adventures. A married mom in the suburbs, she followed her intense curiosity on a quest for the most comfortable panties, only available at Sam’s Club.

There she was: Constantly in touch with the world… of intimate apparel at a membership-only retail warehouse. On a mission to buy panties and only panties, she found her size and threw them in the cart, not realizing that the panty packaging looked oddly like a best-selling hardcover. So, extroverted and enthusiastic, she was quick to answer when a passing associate asked her if it was any good. “Hell, yes!” she told him. “Get yourself some today!”

Well, that’s not entirely true. But she is a fan of her Sam’s Club panties.

And this wandering Sagittarius is idealistic with a big heart. Even in travels to Sam’s Club, even in bulk underwear. This girl is on fire.

Which is why Kelly’s been a big fan since they met at Kelly’s former salon in 2006. “I don’t know what I’d be doing today if Amber hadn’t come into my life,” she says.

Aw, it was a sweet moment and I could see how close all three of these ladies are in friendship, respect, partnership, and intense curiosity.

In this case, it was the curiosity of what they wanted for Christmas, and thus they wandered…

Kelly wants a new diamond. Melissa wants a robot vacuum cleaner. “But they’re a million dollars,” she sighs. NO THEY’RE NOT, MELISSA. They’re like $200. You can get them on Amazon, they implore.

Oh, but birthday girl is on to something: She wants a handheld steamer to clean the shower. “You can just use a clothes steamer,” they tell her. “No, it has to be a cleaner steamer,” Amber says. Like we said, she’s idealistic.

What do you want?

So this topic led to a natural wandering to Cyber Monday, and the amazing items available online at Nixon and Company. Kelly says, stay on your couch and check out these incredible styles – and take up to 40% off!

We love the Belted Boyfriend Jean – sophisticated and stylish, but still comfy.

Another hot look perfect for the holidays is the Black Glazed Ankle Skinny Pant.

Or check out this classy choker necklace. Buy one or several and layer them up.

There was indeed a lot to cover here. Amber’s birthday, Roombas, diamonds, and Cyber Monday. Yes the topic wandered, but that’s how it goes with Sagittarius, creative women, and a bottle of wine.

So, relax, stay in, wish happy birthday thoughts to Amber, and shop online and save. Unless you need panties. Then get to Sam’s.

It’s Time for Deep Thoughts… on Winter

It’s Time for Deep Thoughts… on Winter

As a chill came into the air, the girls looked at the calendar — and the thermometer — and realized it’s November. And it’s time to address the change of seasons.

Although truthfully, Melissa said it’s not winter until the solstice in December. To which Kelly promptly replied, “Screw that. It’s winter.”

So, there’s that. And despite an overall dislike for all things cold, the girls embraced the topic and got to business. Now that winter is officially/not officially here, what do we all need to be doing?

Throw out the razors. What’s the first thing these empowered women of 2018 said? No Shave November is not just for men! Amen, sisters! We can – and should – stop shaving! Was this a rally cry of pink pussyhats? Was this an incredible way to celebrate winter? Or were the girls just getting lazy? I wasn’t sure.

Because they quickly moved on to assessing everyone’s understanding of this important month to raise awareness of men’s health.

It’s called No Shave November, right? Or is it MOVEMBER?

But why is it called that?, asked Amber.

Because “Mustache” and “No” make NOVEMBER!, exclaimed Melissa.

I’m not sure I followed, but Melissa seemed proud, and Amber seemed convinced. I was just glad these ladies validated my desire to stop shaving.

Cover the winter blubber. Next the girls lamented on how now that it’s winter, we can give up the dream of our summer bikini bodies. Screw it, they said! November is here and it’s the perfect time to hide any undesired blubber. Like with this black plaid scarf. It’s adorable, and it will dress up any outfit. It will also highlight your beautiful face, and not your ample ass.

Another look they love: The Oversize Plaid Blanket Scarf. If you’ve moved straight from beer to Halloween candy, your ears may perk up on this one. But, ahem ladies, we said oversize, not supersize! We’re referring to this 57- by 57-inch fabric of love. Nestle yourself in this warm layer, and you won’t come out till May. And if you gain weight through the holidays, no one will know!  (Confused on WTF is a blanket scarf? Answers here.)

Rake your leaves. With a couple snowfalls under our belts, the girls had one last suggestion for how to prepare for winter. Rake the damn leaves. Especially if the leaves from your tree are blowing into your neighbor’s yard. And by the way, Kelly adds, pick up the dog poo before it snows again.

I sensed the conversation was getting heated, what with all the leaves and crap, so we steered back to fashion. And I gathered the true meaning of what the girls really wanted to say about raking, which is “You need this hat.” Now, that’s cute!

So, it may not be the winter solstice. But winter is still here, and so are the words of winter wisdom you’ve read here. Settle in, work on your wooly legs, and cover up everything you can’t stand to see. We’ll have your back. Even if it’s hairy.

Ha! Who Has Time to Relax?

Ha! Who Has Time to Relax?

If you’re like us, your pace is a mile a minute, and if you slow down for one fraction of a second, the wheels are gonna fall off. Relax? Are you kidding? While you’re at it, you’ll also have a crumpet with the queen after your polo match.

But still, National Relaxation Day is coming up. So even if you’re wound tighter than the Spanx you accidentally threw in the dryer, you should at least try to chill out, even just a little. Let’s unpack this, shall we?

First, this is legit.

They say National Relaxation Day stemmed from a UK holiday called “Slackers’ Day,” which I’m just going to say sounds much easier to get behind. Regardless, on this day, we encourage you to somehow find the perfect way to relax. Dig deep here.

Kelly suggests a hot and tender approach using an instrument of loving heat. It involves soft strokes with just enough firm pressure to experience the impact. Relax and feel the straight…

Whoa! Not that, you dirty girl. We’re talking about a BLOW-OUT.

This relaxing service demands you sit and do nothing but enjoy the pampering. And it leaves you looking awesome. You may even be more inclined to do what you had in mind in the first place. Make an appointment here. For the blow-out, silly. Not the sex. That’s a whole other website. Clear your cookies, ladies.

More ideas

Beyond the blow-out, here are more ways to embrace this day.

Wine, wine, and more wine. This was Kelly’s next answer. Of course, she thought the question had turned to “What’s for breakfast?” But seriously, she still said wine. And for good reason. For so many of us it’s the number-one way to relax. And we don’t even need a national holiday for it. Bottoms up.

Shopping. We’re not going to lie. Retail therapy always tames the savage beast. And this doesn’t have to involve a trip to the mall and painful crowds. For example, you can browse our boutique. The atmosphere is calm and soothing and we’re always here to help. If you’re so relaxed you can’t make it in, you can also shop online. Sip your wine as you look for more perfect outfits to relax in. Like this Dusty Pink Soft Cardigan. Now that’s cozy.

Take a long bath. Another idea: Step away from the chaos and fill up the tub. Crate the kids Make sure the kids are safe, then lock the door and make sure they can’t find you. Then lose yourself in the hot steam. This works for 99% of women. But not if you’re Amber, who claims baths make her too hot. Then try a cold shower. The point it: Escape and relax!

Skip it all together. Another approach to this day? Simply say no. As Melissa says, “I don’t relax.” Perhaps you too are fed a steady diet of food poisoning, children, demands, deadlines and anxiety that you don’t relax either. This is fine! If we know anything, it’s that we can’t keep caving to society and these fabricated holidays. If we’re not ready to relax, screw it. Pour the coffee and keep the wheels on the bus!

At the end of the day, ladies, do what you gotta do. Buy the wine, fill the tub, or fill your shopping cart. Celebrate the day by relaxing – or not relaxing – the way you want! Like in these Sage Drawstring Joggers. So comfy, you won’t want to take them off. Or someone else may want to. You know, after you get that blow-out.

Don’t Get All Up In My Grill

Don’t Get All Up In My Grill

It’s hot out, the kids are home, and every road everywhere is under construction. Tempers are high, and too many people are getting up in your grill. We say screw that! It’s National Grilling Month. Who tells us about this shit informative news? We’re not sure, but we’re here to put a new spin on it. Instead of encouraging you to stand around the coals and sink into the sod in your best apron, we have other ideas for National Grilling Month. Simply: During this month-long celebration, take the opportunity to tell everyone to back that grill up!

You heard us….During National Grilling Month, don’t grab your tongs – instead, right your wrongs! We’re giving you permission to step away from the heated controversies of summer and put your grill first.

Even if you don’t have a grill like this, we have some guidelines. Here they are!

First: If this is your barbecue host….

We all know someone like this. Someone whose enthusiasm for the barbecue trumps her enthusiasm for good taste. If this is happening to you it’s time to actively seek other patios, Stat!

Another issue…

If these video crackheads are anything like mine chances are they haven’t seen the sun since they got off the school bus. It’s likely they’re only emerging from the couch to ask you for snacks – but they don’t want the amazing grilled chicken and veggies you just perfected over open gas. (Never mind that you singed your new eyelashes lighting the damn thing and now you have to wash your hair because it smells like fire.)

If you have kids like these, throw that video console on the flames and be done! There are eight weeks left of summer, light a fire under them buns.

And finally: If the city says this is now part of your daily commute, ugh!

 

This is twisted sister and we’re not gonna take it, no, we ain’t gonna take it, oh we’re not gonna take it anymore…

If you’re dealing with one too many cones and temporary new traffic patterns, we empower you to take a stand. In fact, next time you’re stuck in your hot car, step out, stand up, and walk away. Maybe even leave it running. Ok wait don’t do that.. Just think it, doing it might get you in trouble.

And one more thing: In case you don’t know: BBQs are for the backyard! We don’t want to see you with the tailgate down and your grill pulled around front. Seriously, we don’t.

Whew. Glad we got all that off our chest. And now, we focus on more positive aspects of National Grilling Month: The things that can perfect any patio and beguile any barbecue…

Cute clothes of course!

This White Baby Doll Cami is the ideal look for all things backyard. Welcome to the party!

The Patterned Indigo Maxi is a cool look for these very hot days.

And you’ll have no issue with the classy guest who shows up in this Red & White Circle Top.

In conclusion ladies, behold the possibilities of National Grilling Month and protect your precious grill. Swat down the irritants that are invading your space. Throw out the sauces and amp up your sauciness. Others will thank you! Now go out in the backyard and Fight the Good Fight! Grill on ladies, Grill on..

 

 

Are You Kissable?

Are You Kissable?

Friday, July 6, marks International Kissing Day. This means the challenge is on: How many people can you kiss today?

You heard us.

We’re talking about an entire day to celebrate the sport of making out. Yes, you wish we were making this up. But we’re not. International Kissing Day is a real thing. It was established in 2006 to “focus on the kissing that takes place between lovers and to celebrate the place it holds in our society.”

Experts advise that this is not just about romantic kissing. It’s also about general kissing in our culture and society: Kissing on each cheek, greeting family, or kissing goodbye.

Yeah, whatever.

We’re going with the first one: Hot, randy sessions with your partner, your spouse, your significant other, or just the guy in line at Raising Canes. (This is your opening, ladies!)

This is the perfect opportunity to pretend you’re the Bachelorette and swap spit with all you encounter. Grab your z-pack, and gear up. But first things first: Make sure you’re kissable.

Come see us

Know that even if you’re doling out tongue for free, it’s still important to look your best. Whether you just need some upkeep, or you want something new, make an appointment. Of course, we can do the basic cut and color. But which style, and what color? Kissing is about opening your lips heart to new total strangers experiences, and so is exploring our color and highlighting options, Keratin treatments, extensions, waxing, updos, or brow and lash tints. We are full service, which mean you can make out with a whole new look. Get it?

Amp up your products

Another way to look your kissable best? Revisit your bathroom and see which is older – your oldest child, or your hair gel? Products expire ladies, and even if yours still have shelf life, they may not be the best ones you could be using. Chemistry has changed, and there are tools out there that can control frizz, reverse damage, add volume and shine, and make color last.

Remember, good looks don’t come naturally. They come in a bottle!! Come in, consult with us, and stock up. Then carry home your new miracle workers with class and confidence. Like in this Mamuye Leather Tote.

 

Get on your toes

Finally, in celebration of International Kissing Day, join us in embracing the cliché tippy-toe kissing stance.

 

According to our Google-prowess, this is a common kissing pose. And women are apparently always four inches too short and often without proper foot ware.

Regardless, the Internet says we like these tip-toe kisses. But on this special day, take steps to make them easier. Let’s say by wearing these adorable Brown Leather Platform Wedges.

They’re lightweight and cushioned, for more comfort for your kissing. And they feature a 3 ¼ inch wedge heel, which means you’ll be able to make out in style, without a visit to your podiatrist.

In conclusion, ladies…

The time has come. The time is now. Take immediate action to make yourself kissable. Grab that  Emergen-C and use this day to suck some serious face. It’s International Kissing Day. Apply lipstick and handle it. Hey, that would make a great shirt. 

It’s the 4th of July: Are You Ready with Your Red, White, and Blue?

It’s the 4th of July: Are You Ready with Your Red, White, and Blue?

Oh, the controversy. Everywhere you look and every channel you flip to. Politics stink. But America is still great! And soon it will be time to celebrate! Independence Day is almost here. To make sure you have choices for your red, white and blue, we are, of course, here for you.

Red – Hardiness and valor

What’s the story behind the colors of our nation? Well, the legend goes that George Washington was very smitten with the red allure of Martha’s lips and always preferred she stain them with a certain berry only found near the Potomac. And that’s why the colors of America began with red.

Oh, and that’s why we don’t drink when we write. Cause we lie!

The truth is red represents hardiness and valor. Yum, that’s good American stuff. If those traits resonate with you, skip the blue and white this season and go straight for the red. Say, in this oh so cute Red & White Circle Ruffle Top. Off the shoulder but with a slip-free lining, this holiday must-have will have you pledging allegiance.

White – Purity and innocence

Well, nothing says America like purity and innocence, but that’s what our founding fathers were going for when they chose white. Regardless, we’re going to embrace it this 4th of July, like in these crisp and sexy White Shipman Pants. High-waisted and full-legged, these bottoms bring liberty and beauty to all.

 

 Blue – Vigilance, perseverance and justice

And finally: Blue. This color represents America’s fighting spirit, and it can represent yours too. Wear it with strength, wear it with pride. Like in this Navy Tunic Dress. Its delicate cutouts and cinched waist make for a liberal fit, while the full short sleeves make it ideal for any conservative celebration. It’s simple, sexy, and in line with our own domestic policy: Walk softly and wear a great dress.

 

Combine them

Torn about whether you’re hardy, pure, or vigilant? Combine your red, white and blue for a look that will rock any celebration. And we don’t mean like this:

Doh! Everyone knows Snug Sacks are too hot in July. It’s summer, ladies!

There are real ways to dress for the season that actually match the weather of the season. Like in this charming Striped Tassel Halter. You’ll love the flattering cut, the front tassel, and the racerback back. Check it out!

Another great red, white and blue look: The Moon River Dress, available in store right now. Pair it with a duster or alone, this frock will have others saluting!

Looking for something more casual? Try the Denim Plaid Oversized Shirt. Wear it as a dress or a shirt. It’s comfortable and cozy without being sloppy. People will love it so much, they’ll shoot off fireworks!

In conclusion, Independence Day is coming. Celebrate by wearing colors that mean something, in styles that mean you’re serious about looking great. Or skip the colors all together and dress to express the thoughts you really mean — like the importance of that afternoon cocktail. We’ve got that too.